Yesterday was a disaster. The closer I get to being finished with the 45 days, the harder it is for me to stay faithful to the protocol. The anticipation of being free to cook, and consume a wider range of... EVERYTHING is just getting overwhelming!!
Things were good until I finished work. I faithfully drank my coffee, ate my grapefruit, had my salad (which made me feel sick), and after that things got rocky. I stopped by my mom's and ate two crackers to get rid of that sick feeling, then came home and had a little organic tomato soup (not exactly on the program), then went to the firehouse. UGH! So hard going to the firehouse.... They ordered chinese. My ever so considerate friend offered to share his Chinese with me, and I obliged by eating about a half dozen pieces of General tso's chicken :( And maybe a half dozen fortune cookies.... It smelled so good, and was so delicious! I was consumed with guilt after that. I woke up this morning and confessed my sins to Dale....
For some reason I still lost weight. I definitely don't feel that I deserve the loss of the half pound. I really need to figure out what I need to do to avoid cheating!! Even the little cheats add up! I can't help but wonder how much weight I would have lost if I had stayed 100% loyal to the protocol.... But then again, maybe this is how I've kept myself on the 45 day phase two for so long. Maybe I would have lost my mind and given up without these cheats! Ugh. Who knows.
Current Weight: 250
Total Weight Lost: 39
Goal weight achieved. Wooo. Ugh, it just doesn't feel good to accomplish my goal this way. It's like getting an "A" on a paper knowing you downloaded the entire thing off the internet... Not that I've ever done that!! Ok, it's like winning a volleyball game because the other team just watched your serve drop onto their side without any attempt to pass it. Clearly I'm not good at coming up with these analogies....
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You are not alone! It is so easy to cheat, especially the more people (and therefore food) you are around. I give you major kudos for doing it while watching Dale eat whatever!! I had to put Justin on it just to not be going it alone.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the goal weight acheived! That is so great! I will say though, that I noticed a pattern not only in myself and Justin but also in Cat, that cheating takes more than a day to show up. It seems to be showing up the second day after. That is not a jinx and I will keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't happen to you!!! And you can tell me if I am awful for even suggesting it.
Anyway, you are a rock star and should think that it is the cheats that kept you sane for 40 days. :)